Why does my mother think it's cool to wake me up to pray about settlement?
Love month is here, the pressure is real and these are the issues.
Since I moved back to be closer to home, the pressure has been worse.
I mean, I was sure about wanting to move back and I was prepared to avoid things like these but this woman knows what she wants. She sees me these days and decides I have nothing in the works.
Do I?
Look, I am a preacher of love. But I am not the show type. In fact I will rather chew jeans now than tell my mother about my love life. Except it is for marriage.
You know, I am usually the serious child. The very focused one and so I am used to being exempted from the marriage talks for so long. To be fair my mom has always been a cool mom too.
Until recently.
It took me a while to find someone I wanted to be in a committed relationship with, and I thought about taking a "vacation" from dating at one point. My mother, however, was not comfortable with my break from a relationship, whereas I was. One day, while I was idly resting my head, she called and made it abundantly evident that I was not moving quickly enough for her.
Bruh.
Even me?
As in, mommy. Me too?
Let me be clear; my mother's urge that I get married as soon as possible is not so much about marriage as it is more about having babies. She wants grandkids and she wants to invite her own friends to a large ceremony too. Very very typical.
What makes this even real is that she's definitely not the only mom out there pushing for her kids to settle down.
No way she’s the only one. It is like this for many of us now, I am sure.
You reading this can probably relate. It has been this way in times past, it is this way currently and it will continue to be like this for generations to come.
How then do we handle our parents' obsession with marriage? When your mom asks about your marital status, what do you say?
For me, I first laugh it off even though I know it's super important to respond in a way that is respectful. I use those moments she asks me to crack a silly joke. Afterwards I try to be honest her. Honest enough to keep her out of my hairs for the next few weeks. Hopefully.
Maybe for you, a joke won’t work because If she slaps you I don’t want you calling my name. So you could say something like, "Mommy, thank you for showing interest in my personal life. Right now, I'm concentrating on developing professionally and personally, but I'll make sure to inform you on any updates." Even if there are updates.
Because if she knows about any updates, that’s the beginning of a new chapter in your life.
I know my mother well. She’s probably seated somewhere praying for us. She might even see this and call me and it will become another discussion but you know me. I have to say what I have to say. And it is a lot to say because I am not even in the mood.
I can't wait to find out who did a terrible job of convincing her it was right to interrupt my quiet nights with discussions of marriage because it's not funny.
It is not funny at all.
My mum has started subtly talking sbout it too... God help us all lol
I can relate with this. Lol, my mom is like that too and lately I’ve been avoiding going to see her except if my siblings are around and we are having a family time😂
Whenever she calls and she’s about to start that conversation I just switch to a different conversation entirely. She gets the message and she understands then that I do not want to talk about it.
We can’t blame them, they want what they want.