They Don’t Tell You How It Feels To Be A Christian Girl In Nigeria.

One of the many Sunday morning photos I have come to adore very much.

They don’t really talk about this part.

The part where you love God, but sometimes you forget to pray. Where you study your Bible, but end up scrolling past Leviticus because your mind is tired and your soul is distracted. Where worship songs give you peace, but so does a quiet room and a chilled Coke after the kind of day that tries your salvation.

They maybe told us Christianity and building with God would not be the easiest but they didn’t say it would be this confusing.

They didn’t prepare us for how it feels to love a holy God while living in an unholy world that makes sin look like self-care and compromise look like “balance.” They didn’t say that sometimes you will cry during worship, not because you are overwhelmed with love but because you feel unworthy to even be there.

Being a young Christian woman is not aesthetic. It is not the cute Instagram “Bible + latte” life.

Sometimes it’s loud.

Sometimes it’s dry.

Sometimes it’s just you, your doubts, and a stubborn hope that maybe, just maybe, God still sees you.

You want to be consistent. You really do. But some weeks your quiet time becomes quiet days. And your prayer life becomes “God, abeg.”

You make promises.

You say, “This week, I will be serious.”

You delete the apps. You unsubscribe from the noise.

Then… Life happens.

Work. Pressure. Deadlines. Hormones. Distractions.

You fall again.

But then, you come back.

And every time, somehow, the same verse echoes louder than your shame:

“Don’t be afraid, I have redeemed you. I have called your name. You are mine…

When you are between a rock and a hard place, it won’t be a dead end.” (Isaiah 43:1–4 MSG)

And maybe that’s the point. That you are not holding God together. You could never. Lol. He’s the one holding you. That even when you feel inconsistent, you are still called.

Still chosen.

Sometimes your struggle is comparison, wondering why others seem to have more peace, more joy, more control. Sometimes it’s loneliness, even in church. Sometimes it’s battling pride, anger, bitterness, envy, all the things no one can see on your face, but you and God know are fighting inside.

But then, there are wins.

There are mornings you wake up before your alarm and actually pray and study with your colorful Bible. There are days you forgive without being asked. There are worship moments that feel like heaven cracked open just for you. There are times you read the Word and it reads you right back. Times the Holy Spirit whispers a thing so timely you almost cry on the bus.

And you realize:

You are not losing.

You are growing.

It just doesn’t always feel like it.

Sigh.

Being a young Christian woman is definitely a cycle of dying to self, again and again.

Of craving God in a culture that calls you crazy.

Of learning that sanctification is not a straight road, but a wild, winding one, with rest stops, detours, and grace on every corner.

Girl, this walk isn’t cute and curated.

You will promise God, “From now on, I am serious,” only to remember you said the same thing last year… and the year before that.

But you are not the only one. No way.

There’s a whole army of Christian girls out here trying to balance holy living with Lagos traffic, hormones, data issues, and unsolicited relationship advice from friends, mothers and aunties. Still pressing in. Still holding on. Still choosing God even when Netflix, Instagram, and that one Twitter thread are saying otherwise.

You will get tired of repenting for the same thing.

You will compare yourself to that girl who seems to pray in tongues, run a business, drinks fine tea, and fast 40 days with flawless skin.

You will wonder if you are doing something wrong and why you are just so lax on many days.

Well, you are in your process.

And you cannot stop.

And God isn’t keeping a scorecard. He is holding your heart.

He is not waiting for perfection. He is walking with you through the chaos, through the “God I am trying,” through the “I fell again but I still want You.”

Because grace is no longer just a nice church word; it has become the seatbelt that holds you when your faith is on a bumpy ride.

That you don’t have to “feel” spiritual every day.

That you don’t have to perform.

That you don’t have to wait till you are “put together” to talk to God.

But;

You just have to keep showing up.

Messy, moody, late, unsure, show up.

Because God never leaves.

Because He still calls you by your name.

You might be in rough waters, but you won’t go down.

You might be between a rock and a hard place, but it’s not a dead end.

You Christian girl living in Nigeria isn’t a failure story.

It’s a faith story with too many plot twists, dry seasons, loud worship, quiet tears, and one constant thing you must never forget;

God stays.