So far, this is the oldest I have been.

happy birthday to me.

Heyyy,

It’s my birthday and Mr Kensington’s ‘illumination memories’ plays in the background while I try to understand what I am feeling this morning.

I spent the eve of my birthday in church and just after service, the rain poured so much that all I wanted to do was to just get home and stay snuggled.

It is another birthday and I will try to explain what I feel.

Turning a year older is a bit exciting this time but also a little scary. I don’t feel anything. I do not feel sad or happy. I am just here. Chill.

On my birthday last year, I felt so much peace and while birthdays haven’t really been my favourite experiences, I still kinda looked forward to last year’s own. I mean, I threw a little get together for my friends. It was something.

This year, I didn’t think twice about pulling the plug on two major things that took the light out of my soul. I am older, wiser and less patient with anything that doesn’t serve me now.

You know, nothing in these trying times indicated that I could pull a birthday shoot but my friends worked too hard to let that happen. These ones love me too much to see me just lay low about this birthday. I got several reminders about doing a shoot and not changing my mind.

I told Stephanie about wanting to do a shoot but not sure about being available for it but, I think all I had to do was just confirm that I wanted a shoot.

Everything about the shoot was mostly handled by her. In two hours, on a crazy busy Wednesday afternoon, I had a shoot done amidst heavy work calls and some other adulthood situations.

I didn’t even cry that day and that’s how you know it was a good one.

It was Stephanie last year. It’s her again this year. She is the reason I have photos to show you this year. I told her I wanted to look simple, mature and fun and of course dressed in black and white. I really wanted to look like myself. I didn’t want anything extra.

Stephanie worked with my mood board, did my makeup, styled me and shot the photos.

This is what I choose to focus on today. This gift of people God has given to me.

Years ago, I had nothing like this. I knew I was liked by people but I still always had little to no assistance or support. I always did everything myself until I couldn’t anymore. I prayed for this and it is an answered prayer today.

See, the people in my life make life worth living. They make everything better. I fight to keep going daily for the ones I love. For them. For us.

I love these photos. I enjoy seeing how simple and relaxed I look in them. I love them so much. I am gradually turning into a big girl and these photos tell that.

Simple, straightforward and serious defines me now and I am quite comfortable with that. I have more photos from the shoot but I will share them much later.

What I want to do for the rest of the day is get work done, rest, eat, smile, and do my best to document today. Birthdays come once a year and I want to experience today really well. I want to soak up on all the love and happiness.

Please, tell me all the beautiful things you want to say to me, and send me plenty money while at it. Most importantly, pray for me. Tell God to give me ease and a lot of quality sleep in this new year.

You already know I like writing to you and this is a favorite part of this day. I am so glad that you get to spend another birthday with me.

I love you.

Until next time.

Your birthday princess🫶