God is not mad at you.

It's time to forgive yourself.

Hi my special friend,

Today is the sixth day of June, and I dare say that the month has arrived with fresh energy. It has also come with a readiness to set aside everything that was attempting to stand in the way of me talking to the one person I know to be my biggest help; my God.

I was told as a child that I would go to hellfire for every time I disobeyed God so whenever I heard an altar call, I committed my life to Christ. I would raise my hands or rush to the altar to confess because I didn't want to go to hell, and you trust the preacher to stir up feelings that made me feel like I wasn't getting another chance.

I surrendered at the next sermon and the one after that. Again and again. I eventually outgrew it and stopped. I stopped rushing to the altar at the first opportunity and became too humiliated to even approach God since I had always felt guilty and like I was playing a joke on him. I started to criticize myself. I became too hard on myself.

You see, forgiving others can feel much easier than forgiving ourselves. It's common for us to become mired in a web of our own emotions when we sense guilt. Instead of talking to God or another person about it, we start listening to our inner critics, who aren't always so understanding.

When we make mistakes and fall short, it is easy to feel guilty and to believe that God will abandon us. We let the devil lie to us about God being angry with us. We let ourselves wallow in pity and self-destruction. Angry at ourselves and afraid to look up to God.

Reminiscing about the recurrent giving-my-life-to-christ childhood experience today, I realize that if I learnt anything from it at all, it was that God was always willing to receive me. Whatever I was doing, wherever I was, or what sin I had committed.

Yes, God is aware of every error I've made. He's aware of your errors as well. You have committed sin and fallen short of the norm. You are not alone! We have all fallen short, according to the Bible. We all need God’s forgiveness and help.

I need it. You need it.

But it's crucial for you to understand that God still cares for you even when you sin, just like a loving parent does. Isaiah 1:18 reads;

Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.

God has already forgiven you. Speak to him. Accept his forgiveness and release yourself from all the guilt and shame that have hindered your relationship with God and caused you to loathe yourself so much. Get rid of all the resentment.

Forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself requires confronting your actions and showing remorse for what happened, but it is important to approach this with compassion for oneself.

There is nothing you have done that God cannot forgive. God is not angry with you. Not even a little bit. He is saying that you are loved and will always be.

Say a little prayer with me;

God, grant me the serenity to stop beating myself up for my mistakes. Please, give me the courage to forgive myself because I am working on doing better and the wisdom to know that you already love me just the way I am.

In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Love,

Favour.